This commenting functionality here is a real pain in the behinder. Your comments are VERY important to me, so I want them to be visible here. I don’t know what it is. It seemed to work for a little while, but now there seems to be an issue again. But either way, I can assure you that your comments never get lost – I always get a copy through email. So until this problem gets resolved some day, I will make sure that your comments will make it over in one way or another.

I think I was able to “restore” Sue’s posting from last night, it should be correctly pasted into the “Comments” section of yesterday’s post: The Wait.

Karen also had left a long comment, but for some reason I seem to be unable to copy it over properly. So I attached it to this posting (just scroll down).

Well, but this gives me the opportunity to introduce to you two of our most loyal Cancer-Warriors of our Anti-Cancer Army. Our dogs Summer and Troy. Sometimes all it takes is a little time with them on the couch and embrace their unconditional love for us. We were fortunate to find those two!

Okay, here is Karen’s comment from last night:

This is what Karen had commented last night and my answer:

Karen (k.eagleson@rogers.com)

Yesterday 08:56 PM

Hi Tony, just caught up on reading your posts - thanks for sharing - I took a 2 week break from all things cancer, just to see how it felt. It was actually very good for me mentally - I'm an 'all in' kind of gal - have trouble doing anything with moderation, so need to just back away from it all every now & then, otherwise it can consume my days.

I can imagine under your 'brave front' there is likely some anxiety prior to your surgery, which is very normal. But if you can, once you have yourself ready for your surgery, relax and enjoy this week with your family. I too was rather stressed, before my surgery, with getting all my ducks in a row - had to write out lists of financial info for my hubby as I wanted to be sure he knew where all my investments were, savings accounts, the lawyers info, etc, etc. All the stuff I've always taken care of and I felt much better once I had it all on paper, taped the paper inside the kitchen cabinet where it wouldn't be lost. It made me feel a little more in control, during a time when life felt pretty well out of control.

Now I'm 14 months post surgery and although I function day to day, and feel fairly well physically (I had an open rad nephr), the feeling of being out of control continues for me - my nightly dreams are of being lost, being late, being unable to get where I need to be, etc etc. Pretty simple to figure those out! LOL! I am a work in progress, trying to let it go - so much easier said than done. Having had a 15cm tumour, for the first year I was scanned every 3 months so there never seemed to be a time when I wasn't either getting anxious about the scan, waiting for results (my onc always phones me within a couple of days, at my request), attending my appointments, getting bloodwork done, etc. You just get through one, and it seems the next one is looming when you're on this 3 month schedule. I thought after my Oct scan and my recent Nov appointment, that I might finally get a 6 month reprieve, but today the mail came, telling me my next appt is Feb. So my scan will likely be late Jan. Just around the corner once again.....Thankfully, there is Christmas and the holiday season to enjoy in the interim, and as all my blogger friends will tell ya, I'll probably fit in a trip (or 2 or 3) away as well - those are my treats to myself to relax, distract myself & 'seize the day'! You have all this fun ahead of you - not to make light of it, but truly, a sense of humour is essential ! This difficulty with 'moving beyond' is the exact reason why I chose not to have a blog of my own. It would consume me. So I applaud you and our other blogger friends who are able to put it all out there - I hope you find it benefits you as much as I know it benefits your readers.

I just want you to know that all that you feel is normal and all of us out here deal with this in our own ways, and all degrees of emotion are acceptable. My very best wishes to you and your family, I hope you have great success with your lapr nephr and fabulous pathology results. I'll be looking forward to hearing how it goes for you when you feel able to get back on here post-op.

You will learn tons over the next many months but don't let it take you over. Listen to Sue's great advice - find a way to have this thing be part of your life, but not to 'be your life'. I'll be continuing to work on that too! Take care Tony. Life IS good.

Karen in Ottawa Canada

Posted on The Wait.

 

 

 

My answer:

 

Hi Karen - thank you so much for checking in and the update on your situation. Well, I tell you, I was close to giving up the whole blogging thing because exactly for the reason you did mention in your posting: it simply takes over and consumes you. Even though I have to say, that the blogging itself is not so much of an effort, but much rather building the two websites. And what bothers me the most, is the technical glitches, the "lost" comments, etc..

 

On the other hand, I have to remind myself on why do I do what I do. The reason why I started to build the websites and my two blogs was to share my story with others and by doing so, hoping that somebody out there will receive some "useful" information and in best case, feel some comfort. I knew that I wouldn’t be able to provide advice, because I am not qualified. But sharing my story and my thoughts, might help others in making decisions, whether they agree or disagree with me is not important.  

Yes, this will be a very special Holiday season. I am sure I will be able to cherish and embrace it even more than ever, now that both my wife and I were diagnosed with cancer.

 

Thanks again for checking in and all the best to you. Happy Thanksgiving!

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