Today is day #1 after my Cystoscopy.

Everything went well yesterday. My appointment was at 1:30 PM and I wasn't allowed to eat or drink after midnight the day before. I had a light headache and I was nervous when we got to the Urology Center. As usual, I had to complete the 500 obligatory forms and then they called me in right away. My wife Ann was with me, not only for support but also since I wasn't allowed to drive for 24 after the procedure because of the anesthesia.
Tina, nurse #1, instructed me to change into a gown and put my stuff into a locker. Then, I was seated comfortably in a rocking chair and she asked me a whole bunch of questions while she was hooking me up to an IV. Dr. Howhannesian, the urologist stopped by and asked me if I had any questions for him. He also showed me my CAT scan slides on the monitor. Amazing! Those pictures are so crisp nowadays, who knew.
And there it was. A black solid mass in my left kidney, right where it's intermingles with the urinary tract. Obviously, the purpose of the Cysto was to find out, if the cancer is solely contained within the kidney, or has infiltrated the urethra. If so, they would have to take it out along with the kidney, which will have to come out either way entirely. One of my main worries was if I had to permanently wear a catheter if they had to take out the urethra. But the doctor clearly said that this won't be necessary.
I then spoke to the anesthesiologist and he promised me to give me the best sleep ever. In the meantime, tow more nurses arrived an gave me company. The four of us were chatting and they asked me what I ate last night. I truthfully answered: lentils, a lot of them. We all cracked up. There's probably one thing you shouldn't have as your last supper if you're scheduled for an urological surgery the next day, and that is anything that could make you gassy. I assured them that everything is under control and I confident that it won't come to any hazardous explosions. 
Then a nurse named Sal picked me up to guide me into the operating room. I laid down onto the table and for some reason I was totally relaxed at that point. Over the past few days I noticed a major change in me. I started to make peace with everybody and everything, including myself. I might die from cancer, but I don't know that for certain. But I do know, that if I was to survive this, I would have to change a few things in my life. One of which is to learn not to stress out over everything. I asked God for forgiveness and at the same time I forgave everybody I had hard feelings for. It felt as if a whale had been lifted off of my chest.   
The last thing I remember is starring at the light right above me. I then closed my eyes and seconds later I was out.........

When I woke up I was very thirsty and quite relieved that I was finally allowed to drink water. I came to my senses rather quickly and as Dr. Howhannesian stopped by to check in on me, he explained that everything looks okay, no indication of any further spread. That of course, was great news! He told me that he put a stent into my kidney, but I couldn't follow him as to why.
I had to pee very badly and since my overall condition seemed to be okay, I was allowed to get up. Ann was waiting next room for me with one of the nurses. I then went to pee and it burned like hell - blood and clots, really nasty. After that, I got changed and we were headed back home. That's when the anesthesia started to wear off and the pain kicked in. Every hole and bump in the road caused me brutal pain. Unfortunately, we only had the prescriptions for the pain-killers at this point but not the actual drug. So Ann dropped me off at home and headed back out to the pharmacy. I went to pee and the burning was very hurtful. But what really hurt the most was my left flank. As the fluid flushed through my kidney and it's new neighbor - the stent -  my breath was taken by the excruciating pain I experienced. This was clearly a complete new dimension of pain to me, that even topped the discomfort alongside with my gout attacks. So every time I have to pee, I am paralyzed for a good 10-15 minutes because of the pain in my left flank. However, it seems to get gradually better and in a few days I should be through with this.

As I write these lines, I received a call from the New Jersey Institute of Radiology. I am now scheduled for a PET Scan next Tuesday. We want to make sure that there are no metastases on my lungs. 

After that, I will try to get my kidney-removal surgery scheduled asap. Ann and I were joking before: isn't it pathetic in a way, how cancer puts everything in a completely different perspective? I am perfectly okay with losing one of my kidneys, it's "only" a kidney. To someone else without cancer, that would probably be devastating news - and to me it is the best possible scenario under the circumstances.