In a week from now, Dr. Badani will probably give commands like “LEFT”, “RIGHT”, “UP”, “DOWN”, speaking into a microphone that’s attached to his headset.

The headset is connected to a computer that will translate the speech into machine language. A millisecond later, the de-coding process will be completed and the result submitted to the operating Robot. That’s good, because the Robot that will take care of my kidney cancer, by actually cutting me open and taking out my kidney along with the tumor, doesn’t understand English, but is fluent in “Computer”. I hope Dr. Badani is not going to accidentally mix up “Left” and “Right”, directing the Robot to cut the wrong way. Nahhh, I’m just kidding. I have full faith in Dr. Badani and his subordinate machinist, Mr. Roboto.

I should be getting nervous by now, but I don’t think I am. Ann though, sees the situation differently. Probably because I approached her a few times to talk to her about the ‘worst-case scenario’. And further to that, my stupid jokes don’t seem to sit too well with her. I therefore decided to stop making ‘funny’ statements like: “…I’d better be starting digging a hole in the backyard – we can’t afford a funeral.” I honestly thought that was funny. But Ann didn’t think so.

I think it’s not unusual to think about the possibility that things could go wrong. The important thing is: I know that my family will be alright. So right now I’m still quite relaxed. I’m sure that will change as the weekend gets closer. The hospital is supposed to give me a call on Friday to instruct me on the logistical details for Monday. So far all I know is that the will operate on me Monday morning.

By the way, I actually received the operative report of my Ureteroscopy in the mail last Saturday. I was shocked. For some reason I thought the stent that was inserted during the procedure was only a few inches long. Now I had to learn that it was 24 cm, which translates to about 10 inches. No wonder that thing hurt me brutally for a few days. But anyway, I need to make sure Dr. Badani takes it out along with my kidney and the cancer.

I have off this week. I want to go to a church, just by myself. Which seems to be not that easy around here. Either the churches are part of a whole complex with adjacent schools, kinder-gardens, or they are closed during the day. I don’t want to attend a mass. Being born and raised roman-catholic, the system wasn’t successful in convincing me of the importance of congregating at certain times on certain days to praise the Lord. I always understood my relation to God as a “One on One”. Something private and intimate. Not something I need to display by falling down on my knees with a few hundred other people at the EXACT same time, and God forbid your timing is off by a split second – the dirty looks from back then still haunt me.

I don’t disapprove of parishes and masses, nor was it my intent to ridicule people who feel comfortable living their religion organized in groups. It’s just not my cup of tea. I’d rather just go a different route.

In case you’re interested, here’s a copy of my Cystoscopy-Report.

Have a great week!

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